it's always been a long shot! [ o ]

the stillness was unbearable. all he wanted was a damn breeze! he almost whined his wishes aloud but chuckled and shook his head instead. no, he wanted way more than just a breeze. but perhaps a little northern wind to cool his roasting pelt would have helped him tamp down his crankiness. it was getting out of hand today.

the tom was usually so laid back, not giving a second thought to the irritatingly warm weather or any such petty annoyance. but today... this morning he had woken up feeling like fleas were chewing his brain. cedarstar had muttered his good mornings and promptly got his ass out of camp. a grouchy leader just ruffled everyone's pelt. no good.

he didn't really like getting in touch with his feelings (that's why he was an expert at pushing them away into that obliviously level-headed nothingness). and today was no exception, but the truth of his thoughts kept tugging at him. if he had asked himself what was really wrong, the answer would have been clear as the sky. cedarstar was lonely.

fundamentally lonely. like, deep inside. was that what being a leader meant? how silly. he had so many friends- what was missing? was it something missing from himself, something he could fix without help? was it something someone like orchidstar might understand, or was her heart full of the things he didn't yet know?

no, he wasn't acknowledging any of these questions resonating deep inside his broad chest. he was just walking and humming, trying to think of everything but himself. introspection? not a strong point. pouncing on a noisy cricket hiding in the grass? absolutely nailed it.

// setting: hot as heck midmorning, crunchy grass, noisy bugs, sweltering summer mood.
open!!